Went back and re-read....damn...I just pulled a beginner's mistake.....a very bad lack of Plot Point 1...that most essential thing to ANY screenplay.
SO more re-editing done. Lost a few pages and some good dialogue and some cool scenes....but now I am CONFIDENT that I have a solid First Plot Point that really carries good into act 2. It's slightly early, but this is a short story....very short...maybe 80 pages max.
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